Outside Chinook, Annik's Bedroom in the Manor, Mid October
For a moment Nic couldn't remember why he was standing in the doorway to the guest room that Mikal had assigned to Annik. All he could see was how beautiful she was. Breathing in, he took her scent deep into his lungs. Wanting to hold it there forever. His brain just fuzzed out, froze, not wanting to move or say anything in case doing so made her run from him again. All he wanted was to be with Annik forever. To hold her, to care for her, to do whatever she wanted til time ceased.
And he thought he'd be able to let her go once her Tempering was done? That so wasn't going to happen. The memory of his parents, dead, flashed through Nic's mind again. Freezing the blood in his veins. If he stayed with her she would be in danger. So as much as it hurt, And it was going to kill him, Nic would let her go. For her own good. Anything else was just him being a selfish bastard. It would just be another way to let her down. something he would never do again. He would see her safely through her change and then pass her onto someone safer.
But passing people on to others for their own good hadn't worked out so well the last two times he'd done it? had it. He would have to make sure he did it right this time. Then the memory of the captured civilians flashed through his brain. The Undying had changed their behavior lately. What if they were looking for something? or worse someone? What if they were looking for Annik? Was anyplace as safe as the mansion compound? No, probably not. So even if it was selfish wasn't the safest place for her right here? with him? God, he was going to go insane trying to figure this mess out.
Standing in front of him Annik looked like an angel. A very confused angel. Had she spoken and he missed it? Damn it, he was going to have to keep his head in the game. Otherwise he might wake up without it. Nodding Nic acknowledged the bow that Mikal made.
"If you will excuse me master, mistress, I need to supervise first meal," Mikal said, giving another bow to each of them as he spoke before leaving.
Niculai waited for the door to close behind his major domo before speaking.
"Speaking of first meal, I thought you might feel more comfortable attending it with someone you know," Nic said. "Unless you'd rather eat in your room?"
God Nic really hoped that she wanted to go have first meal with him. More time with her, getting to know her better was going to make letting her go harder when the time came. But he had to be with her like he had to breathe. Focus on what's happening Nic thought, forcing himself to focus on Annik rather what he thought of her. Don't want to miss anything she says, again.
"First meal?"
"I believe Humans call it break fast. Or some such," Nic answered.
"Ah, yeah we call it breakfast," Annik answered. Nodding her head she continued. "Yes I would like to go to breakfast, first meal, what ever you want to call it with you."
God the sound of her voice went right through him. It both soothed him and energized him at the same time. He could listen to her talk till time stopped and not get enough of it. Feeling like a pathetic loser, Nic offered Annik his arm. Like a gentlemale would, like he was one? He wasn't sure if he hoped she would take his arm or if she wouldn't. Both maybe?
"Thank you," Annik said as she took his offered arm.
Her touch went through him like her voice did. Slicing him to the quick and healing his wounds at the same time. Looking down, Nic saw her small hand resting gently on his much larger arm. His whole body stilled, his whole world stilled, waiting, like she had the remote to his body. Nic never wanted her to stop touching him.
"I'm sorry," Annik said, her face reddening as she started to remove her hand. "I thought you wanted me -"
"No," Nic cut in stopping her from taking her hand from his arm. "Please let me escort you to first meal." Nic kept his hand on top of hers as he led her from the room. He never wanted to let her go.
A few minutes later the two of them were walking into the formal dining room. Well, that was what the room was called. Nic's Siblings weren't formal at the best of times. Downright rowdy was more like it. Although anytime the protocol button got pushed, when they were around outsiders in other words, the Siblings oozed formal. Other than that? not so much. Which is exactly how Nic liked it. He hated the formal dinners that the DeNeam held on the regular, just the thought of all that pretense and fakeness gave him the scratch.
Sitting at the head of the table Nic set her at his right, in the place of honor. The chatter stilled for a moment when they came in together but quickly picked back up at his glare. He so wasn't going to take any grief from the peanut gallery aka his Siblings in the Ashen War-Kin. He got enough hassle from them on the regular as it was. He wasn't even going to let it start over him escorting a female to first meal. Looking over at Annik to see if she noticed the momentary silence, thankfully it looked like she hadn't. Annik was looking around the room with wide eyes, taking it all in. As far as Nic could tell she hadn't even really registered the presence of the rest of the meatheads he called family that shared the table with them.
The huge formal dining table was fuller than usual, seating almost thirty people today. Not just the Siblings that lived here but a few visiting ones as well. Oh yeah, a new training class just started. That is why Rhuv was all up in my ass about coming and observing them. Any Sibling bringing in someone to get advanced training always stayed for a week or two so that the new student would have someone that they knew while they settled in. They had learned long ago that having someone that you knew when a new student got here made their transitions easier. Even though they rarely took in students before their Tempering's any more, it did still happen. Nic was actually considering doing that more often. Once upon a time the average age of student was under twenty. Now days the average age was closer to forty. That was still young to an Anvidai of course but well after adulthood had been reached. Either way had good and bad points and Nic hadn't decided if going back to the old way would be better.
Nodding at everyone Nic was glad that none of them were trying to get his attention. Thank the Mother, Nic thought as he watched Mikal and his staff bring in all the food. No one is here to give a report that they didn't trust to the phone lines. That was very good news as far as Nic was concerned. It meant that He could take Annik to the doc in the training facility. He wanted to make sure she was healthy. Nic didn't want any surprises to pop up when she went through her Tempering. Anvidai had died in their Tempering after all.
As soon as everyone was done eating, the arguing over patrol areas started. My brain is so mush right now. It's a good thing that I'm not going out to fight tonight. My mind is so scattered I'd put my team at risk. Nope, fighting distracted was a good way to wake up dead as Rhuv was fond of saying. One person that Nic did want to talk to was Pyetr, the Ashen War-Kin's Weaver, about the book Annik had brought with her. He needed to know more about the book and how Ingretta got her hands on it. He already knew that Annik couldn't answer any of the those questions, he'd asked her last night.
Nic couldn't keep his eyes off Annik. He tried not to look at her but couldn't stop himself. Who knew that he'd ever hate how good his peripheral vision was. The only way to not look at her was to close his eyes. Something that would make eating his food a bit more difficult. For heavens sake he really needed to get control of himself. Nic constantly caught himself looking at Annik. It was so embarrassing he was surprised that he wasn't blushing so much that everyone could tell. Thank god for not being a red head with fair skin. If he had been Nic was very sure everyone would know just how much he wanted Annik. Nic was so distracted by his own thought that he didn't really register the fact that the focus of said thoughts had stood up and walked out of the dinning room.
All Nic could think of was that he needed to speak to Pyetr. He had no sooner stood up and started to walk over to the Sibling when an ear-splitting sound echoed out of the foyer. Nic's only thought was that Annik was in there alone. Was she hurt? Had she fallen or something. He couldn't imagine what had caused her to scream but he was sure going to find out. Nic flashed into the foyer because running would have been to slow. Just in time to see Glinda, Bree and Rhuv's pet Bawelthu or crawler, as the Humans called them, run up the stairs like it was being chased. It's long skinny limbs looking almost comical as it scurried back up the stairs as fast as it could.
"Well," Nic murmured to himself "At least I know why she screamed."
As soon as she started towards him NIc pulled Annik into his arms without thinking about it. And for her part Annik sagged into his hold in relief. It felt so good to be supporting her even if it was only for this moment. How Nic wished that he could keep doing this forever. Keep his arms around Annik, supporting her and helping her for the rest of his life. But that wasn't to be was it. He was going to have to let her go for her own safety. Looking down at the top of Annik's head, Nic spoke to the his Siblings and staff, everyone that had come running at Annik's terrified scream. The majority with weapons in hand.
NIc spoke quickly and quietly to everyone that had come running. He knew that Annik was as embarrassed by her fear as she was afraid. He could feel her emotions as much as he could smell them. His being able to sense her emotions so wasn't a good sign. It meant that he was beginning to Pair Bond with her. Yeah like that was a news flash? Of course he was Pair Bonding with her and that meant there was no way he would be able to let her go. One half of a bonded couple without their mate was the walking dead, especially if it was a male. He was only fooling himself if he thought he'd be able to let Annik go. But what choice did he have?
Nic wished that he could tell her how he felt but he knew he had to wait until after her Tempering. Not only was she still considered to be a child by his species. But he didn't want her to think that all he wanted was sex. Mother of the Race he didn't want Annik to think all he wanted was sex. That would be even worse than her thinking he didn't want her at all. The later was correctable, the former? not so much. Nic shelved any thoughts about the future and just focused on the female in his arms. Breathing deeply Nic wanted to bring her into every part of his body, his soul. Bring her in and hold her there forever.
Outside Chinook, War-Kin Training Facility, Mid October
The hands were grabbing her. All over her body and nothing that she did stopped them. The hands were all over her breasts and her crotch. Fondling her most private parts and she couldn't stop them. It was horrible and there was no place to go for safety, this was what she deserved for killing not only her birth parents but her adoptive ones as well. She was a curse to everyone around her and she deserved to be treated the way she was. It was all she was good for. But god she hated the grabbing and fondling but most of all she hated herself.
The scream woke Tolartha up. Not the actual sound which was, thankfully, muffled in her pillow. No it was the scream in her head, her soul that brought her out of sleep. Heart pounding in her chest so loudly that she was sure it was going to wake up the other trainees that stayed at the Ashen War-Kin's training facility. Blinking away tears Tolartha just sat in her bed in that she had been assigned at her arrival. All she could see was the light bleeding out from behind the mostly closed door into the bathroom. The dim light was enough for Tolartha to know that she was no longer in the Foress clan heads home. Tolartha knew that she should call him her clan head but she just couldn't bring herself to do that. Not after the way he and the majority of the clan had treated her.
Tolartha scrubbed her face with her hands. Memory taking her to a place she didn't want to go to. She didn't wasn't to think about the clan that had taken her in. Technically they had adopted her but that usually meant that you were treated the same as the rest of the family. The Foress clan, with only a few exceptions, had all treated her like an outsider and a curse. They blamed her for the deaths of her birth parents as well as the deaths of her adopted parents. An opinion, if she was honest with herself, she agreed with.
She had only been ten when her birth parents had been killed by the residents of the village she had been born in. Her parents hadn't liked what the other villagers had been saying or the things that they had been doing to the Jewish residents of the village. Her family had decided to move somewhere else, the villagers however had somehow figured that they were going and planning to help the Jewish residents flee with them. They had attacked the small family the night before their escape. Her father had stayed behind to cover her and her mother's disappearance. Her mother had been caught fleeing with Tolartha in her arms. Tolartha had fallen and hurt her ankle so she couldn't run which is how her mother had been caught. And why her mothers death was her fault.
The villagers had killed her mother right in front of her. Then they had taken her to a cave that was usually used as a hideaway by the village children. They had tied Tolartha up as a sacrifice to the Undying. Unbeknownst to Tolartha's family the headman had become a follower of the Corrupter and her Undying killers. That's why he had riled up the other villagers against her parents. The Undying had wanted her as a sacrifice and the only way he was going to get her was if her parents were dead. So in a way the Foress clan had been right, she was the reason her parents were dead. It still hurt too, the knowledge that she was the reason for her parent's brutal deaths. The first of the deaths that her presence had caused. Unfortunately not the last.
That is how she had first met the Ashen War-Kin and the War Prince Niculai. Not that she had known their identities beyond being Ashen War-Kin at the time. The only good things to ever happen to her were because of the War Prince and the Siblings. Not that she deserved anything good, but still she was grateful to them. They had gotten her out of that damp, dark cave before the Undying had come to get her. They had saved her life. Tolartha didn't blame the War Prince or the Siblings for how the Foress clan had treated her. As far as she was concerned she deserved it all, especially after her adoptive parents had both died as well less than a year after her adoption.
After the second set of parents had died, Tolartha had been shuffled from one family to another. Being moved to yet another family as soon as anything went wrong. Before two years were up no one was willing take her in. That had left her to the tender mercies of the Foress clan head, Troov Foress. Tolartha knew she should be more grateful for him taking her in. Her lack of gratitude was just one more example of how terrible a person she was. She had no gratitude for those that had kept her from the streets, fed her and clothed her. The Foress clan head had taken special interest in her and given her work to do. After all she knew that she had limited intelligence. The Foress clan had been telling her that for decades after all. That many people had to be correct, which was why they hadn't trained her to fight in the first place.
Tolartha had been terrified when she had been discovered practicing fighting moves by Salvari, one of the two Ashen War-Kin assigned to the Foress clan. She had spent the majority of her life being told that she didn't have the necessary coordination to be a fighter. Which is why she had never been allowed to have any training. Tolartha knew that she was a klutz, she was always dropping or tripping over things, much to her embarrassment. And everyone watching for her mistakes just made it worse. So being discovered had been one of the scariest things to happen to her in a very long time. Being set for advanced training with the Ashen War-Kin had been the last thing that she expected. Being punished was more in line with her expectations.
Being here was also an eye opening experience to say the least. For the first time in her life, as far as Tolartha could remember. She wasn't being told she was no good at whatever she was doing. It was the first time that she had enjoyed the tasks she was given and actually did them well. No one was ridding her, just waiting for her to fuck it all up. And when she did make a mistake, no one yelled at her or blamed her. No, they just corrected whatever it was and showed her the right way to do it. All of which Tolartha hadn't experienced since she had lost her first family so long ago.
Tolartha didn't look around her quarters in the Ashen War-Kin training facility. The only light in the room came from around the mostly closed bathroom door and the cheap digital clock that she had been given. Usually the home clan of the trainee helped support any clan members that were skilled or talented enough to get advanced training. The Foress clan however hadn't thought that she deserved the honor no matter what the Sibling Salvari had thought. Because of that belief Tolartha hadn't brought anything with her but a few clothes. Which is pretty much all she owned, everything else was either given or loaned to her by the Siblings. something else that she was embarrassed by. Tolartha knew she'd done nothing to deserve the gifts after all. As she did every day Tolartha vowed that she would someday be worthy of everything the Siblings were doing for her.
At least she was good at the fighting. A fact that had surprised Tolartha to no end. Actually she was the best in her class, something that had stunned and pleased her no end. She couldn't remember the last time she had been good at anything much less the best in any group. Tolartha briefly considered laying down and trying to get more sleep but knew from previous experience that it wasn't going to work. Reaching out blindly Tolartha fumbled around until she found the desk lamp that she had been given. Turning it on Tolartha decided that light was definitely better than sitting in the dark. The light chased the last of her nightmare away. Firmly grounding her back in reality, here in the training facility.
Refusing to think about the past anymore Tolartha stood up and went into the bathroom to shower. Stepping into the shower, she refused to look at herself in the mirror that stretched the length of the counter top the sink was in. Tolartha rarely looked at herself in the mirror, not liking what she saw in it. Washing her body with efficiency, Tolartha was in and out as fast as possible. She wished that she could wash her past as easily as she did her body. But that stuff stayed with you forever, staining your soul permanently like a tattoo that only you could see.
She brushed her teeth just as quickly as she showered before going back out into the bedroom she had been assigned. Tolartha was glad that she's always kept her dark brown hair short since that meant that it was dry by the time she was dressed. Or at least dry enough to not matter in the slightest. Not that her appearance mattered to her in any way. At least all of the trainees wore the same loose jujitsu gi that was provided by the Siblings. That way those with more money couldn't lord it over those without it. At least that was the theory. In practice it only helped so far, as none of the trainees were required to wear the uni unless they were sparring or lifting weights. The rest of the time they could wear street clothes if they wanted.
Walking into the break room where the trainees would eat and hang out was getting easier for Tolartha to do. After almost two weeks of classes she was starting to believe that she was actually here to stay. She had spent her first week certain that they were going to realize their mistake and send her back to the Foress clan. If she didn't see that clan for the rest of her life it would be too soon as far as Tolartha was concerned. An opinion that she was starting to suspect was shared by most if not all of her trainers. And wasn't that an eye opener for her. To hear the Foress clan tell it, the clan head was respected by everyone and an important advisor to the War Prince. From what Tolartha had seen? that wasn't even remotely true.
"Bomb building then gun practice today," one of the trainees said to Tolartha as she sat down with her food.
Nodding to the other trainee in agreement, Tolartha started to eat her food. She didn't talk to the others much. Not because she was shy but because if she didn't make friends with any of them she would get hurt when they stabbed her in the back later on. She had been well trained in that behavior but she was starting to trust her fellows trainees, just a little bit, but it was a start. At least there was no one from her clan in this training class. In fact, from what Tolartha had been told, she was the first trainee from the Foress clan since Milosh had given up leadership of the clan to become a Sibling in the Ashen War-Kin. Not that Tolartha dreamed that highly. No, she just hoped that if she became a good enough fighter that maybe she would finally earn a place in another clan. Any other clan.
