Chapter 29: Together

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“I hope we’ll keep in touch,” Isabelle said as they reached the small spaceport. “I’d love to hear how you like New Calathea.”

“Be careful what you wish for,” Seph said. “I’ll have time to send you mundane updates about my life.”

“Good.” She extended her arms, wrapping him in a comfortable embrace.

He turned to Bria, and she held out her hand. “I’m glad you visited, Seph. Best of luck.”

He clasped it, giving her a firm shake. “And to you as well.”

She smiled at him, waving as he headed for the gate with his suitcases.

A soft hum of background noise filled the air as people chattered and walked the halls while they waited for their ships. Seph leaned back in his seat and turned his head toward the glass window that stretched from floor to ceiling.

What would it be like to see Antony again? They had essentially planned to move across the universe together, but there was so much they hadn’t talked about.

Moving there made sense. New Calathea had a good hospital system and prosthetics experts. He and Antony could have a fresh start, a chance to get to know each other in a new place. And even better, a beautiful place with mountains and forests and more green than he had seen in months. They could go hiking together. Oh, and the restaurants. He saw himself seated in a chic dining room, golden light illuminating Antony’s hair like a halo and the lines deepening under his eyes as he laughed. It was a beautiful image, and he held onto it as the attendant at his gate announced that boarding was about to begin.

Eighteen hours later, Seph stood on the surface of an unfamiliar moon.

Interconnected domes stretched across the horizon. They housed several medium-sized colonies, the largest of which had grown into a city with a modest skyline, tall silver buildings standing out against the void. The domes blocked radiation and protected against the frequent meteor showers that pummeled the rocky moon.

Antony’s building was a short concrete structure with thick glass windows. He stopped outside the hotel room and rubbed his hands together, partially to dispel anxiety and partially to ensure his hands weren’t cold and clammy. Nervous energy thrummed through him, mixing with profound exhaustion. He placed his palms on his cheeks and shook himself.

Seph knocked on the door, and Antony answered immediately, a grin on his face. “Hey. Come in.” He wore a cream-colored shirt and dark sweatpants that hung low enough on his waist that Seph spotted a hint of skin when Antony held his arm out. Seph embraced him. Warmth poured off Antony as he buried his face in Seph’s shoulder, hugging him tight.

“It’s good to see you,” he said as he drew back.

“Glad to be here,” Seph said. “And also glad to be off Acinos.”

“No kidding.” Antony leaned back against the arm of the couch. “Do you feel like you got what you needed there?”

“I think I did. Bria and I talked, and though there was no perfect moment of closure, the tension between us eased. And now she has someone who’ll be there for her.”

“That professor? Are they together now?”

“They seemed to be heading in that direction. There’s certainly mutual affection between them.”

“Good for them.” He paused. “Oh hey, let me show you what I made in art therapy. Keep in mind that I’m a novice with one arm, alright?”

Seph picked up the vase and turned it over in his hand. It was simple and elegant in its shape, and the glaze glinted in the light. Brilliant turquoise melted into cobalt and deep purple as he examined it from all angles. “This is beautiful.”

“Yeah? Thanks,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’ve never been one for collecting too many trinkets since I’ve moved around so much, but it’s a start. New Calathea seems like an artsy place. Maybe I’ll even buy some paintings.”

Seph kicked off his shoes and curled up on the couch. “I look forward to getting my things out of storage. I own a few paintings myself. Too big to cart around the galaxy, but I miss seeing them.”

Antony flopped down beside him. “Have you found a place to live yet?”

“I have a short list, but I want to see everything in person first. And to, ah, coordinate. If you’d like to live on the same side of town.”

With a grin, Antony rolled nearer to him. “I’d like that. There’s this area on the west side of New Calathea, an arts district. Plenty of restaurants and theaters and art galleries. Been checking out condos there.”

“So this is really happening,” Seph blurted.

Antony’s brows knitted together, and his expression turned curious but not anxious. “Yeah. I figured we go there, we get settled, and then we do … whatever comes next. Maybe I’m not the greatest at planning things, but I figured since you’re here, you’re on board.”

“Of course I’m on board. And I think you’re good at moving things. Moving. Planning things.” He rubbed his brow; exhaustion was setting in, and much as a part of him wanted to plan out their entire move right now, his eyelids were growing heavier by the moment. “I’m sorry. Getting incoherent after a billion hours on a ship.”

Antony laughed and patted his shoulder. “I hear you. We can talk things over in the morning.”

“Sleep … good. Sounds good. I could use about twelve hours’ worth.”

 

 

Seph woke to a dark room. A thin beam of blue light filtered in through the gap in the curtains. The bed shifted, and a low hiss cut through the air. He blinked, willing himself to remember where he was. The shape beside him curled up, breathing hard. Antony. He was having a nightmare.

His legs twitched, and he turned over, facing Seph with sweat glistening on his brow. He clenched his teeth, grinding them hard.

“Antony, are you alright?”

Still asleep, he jerked forward, burying his face in the edge of Seph’s pillow. His eyes opened, and he scrambled back with a yelp.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Seph said. “Are you alright?”

Antony reached behind him, grabbing his hearing aids. “Did I wake you? I’m sorry.” He sat up with a grunt. “Ugh.”

“You’re fine. Nightmare?”

“Yeah. I haven’t had one in a while, so I was hoping I wouldn’t have one tonight.” He ran his fingers through his hair. “This isn’t how I expected this to go. To have you here and I’m freaking out in my sleep.” Antony thumped his head lightly against the headboard. “What if we get to New Calathea and I’m a wreck? It’s not like I deal well with change,” he said with a high-pitched laugh. “What if I can’t get it together?”

“You’ve been through a lot, and moving will mean change, yeah. But some of those changes will be good.”

“And some of them will be frustrating. You’re better with logistical stuff than I am. What if I take my frustration out on you? I don’t want to go back to being grumpy and rude all the time.”

Seph rested his hand on Antony’s shoulder. “Listen—I understand what it’s like to let my anxiety get the better of me. I can’t promise that being in New Calathea is going to make me the best version of myself overnight. But I’m going to try my hardest to be kind to you and myself. Besides, I wouldn’t draw too many conclusions based on how you’re feeling at this moment. Speaking from experience.”

Antony flopped back down and sighed into the pillow. “You’re right. I’m catastrophizing.” He squinted at Seph out of the corner of his eye. “Probably should question the thoughts popping into my head immediately after a nightmare.”

Seph propped himself up on his arm. “Do you want to talk about the nightmare?”

“That’s the thing—now that I’m up, I barely remember it. Just shapes and pain and dread. How do I deal with that? Grounding, sure, I’ve gotten better at calming myself down, but I don’t know how to fight a fear that’s so amorphous. It’s like my body has gotten used to being afraid and it doesn’t even know what it’s afraid of anymore.”

“I understand. I’ve operated from a baseline of anxiety for a long time. So much that I can’t even identify why I’m anxious. But you’re safe. We’re both safe.”

“Well, I’m betting it’ll be easier to teach myself to feel safe in a nice town rather than on a remote, uninhabited planet.”

“Agreed.”

Seph surveyed Antony’s expression in the low light. Still tense, but his shoulders had relaxed fractionally. “If it would help, you could come here,” Seph said.

Antony rolled closer to him, pressing his back to Seph’s chest—the man was so warm. Seph slung his arm around him.

“Oh wow, this is nice,” Antony murmured.

“So it’s helping?”

“Definitely.”

 

 

Seph folded his pajama pants and stowed them in his suitcase before zipping it shut. Opposite him, Antony emptied his clothing from the hotel room drawers. “I’m so done with hotel rooms and research stations and medical ships,” he said.

“Same. If New Calathea is as nice as I hope, I don’t imagine wanting to move again any time soon.”

Antony tossed a handful of clothing onto the bed and sat beside his suitcase. “Me neither. Meaning we’re moving across the galaxy together to a town we both intend to live in indefinitely. Might be seeing a lot of each other.”

We’re moving across the galaxy together. The words echoed in Seph’s ears as he turned to Antony. The man’s tone was glib, his expression playful, but the tension had returned to his shoulders. He grabbed a t-shirt, setting it on his lap before folding it haphazardly and throwing it into his suitcase.

Before Seph could formulate a response, Antony huffed. “This—moving to New Calathea with you—might be the most optimistic commitment I’ve ever made to another person, and we aren’t even dating.”

There it was. Antony had broached the topic bubbling at the surface of Seph’s mind since they parted. They were friends now; they trusted each other enough that they could have this conversation. He sat on the bed beside Antony. “Do you want to be?”

“Yes.” His reply was immediate, his eyes wide. “Of course I do, but I want to be stable. I want to start over. Get to know you somewhere that we aren’t both out of our minds with anxiety over expeditions and strange technology and ancient ruins.” He slumped forward, sighing as he ran his fingers through his hair. Seph reached for him, resting his hand on Antony’s shoulder.

“I understand. And I want to get settled and rest and relax as well, but I want to do those things with you. I want you in my life.”

“And I want you in mine.” Antony sent him a soft smile. The light of the hotel room cast a faint glow around his head, reflecting in his half-lidded eyes. There was an earnestness in his expression Seph had rarely seen, and it sent a flush to his ears and cheeks, as he couldn’t keep himself from grinning back.

“We can go slow,” Seph said. “I’m happy to lounge on the couch with you, to take afternoon naps, to do nothing but be together.”

Antony leaned closer until their shoulders were touching, that smile still on his face. “Can I kiss you?” he asked.

“I’d like that very much.” He cupped Antony’s cheek, pulling him in closer. Antony closed the distance, pressing their lips together gently. Seph kissed him once more before resting his forehead against Antony’s.

“I don’t know what’s going to happen next, but I want to move across the galaxy with you,” Seph said.

Antony pulled back just enough to meet his gaze. “When you say it like that, it makes me believe we can build a future together.”

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