Chapter 11

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Early in the morning, everyone gathered in a circle around Ryo, and Jaryn’s lifeless body that was placed upon a stone slab next to the cemetery. Ryo sat upon his chest for the last time, afraid to move from it though he couldn’t feel the warmth from Jaryn anymore. 
‘Thank you, everyone, for joining me in the funeral. It means a lot to me, and surely Jaryn as well that you all decided to attend. And thank you Cassius especially for letting me perform the funeral rites here, I’ll be forever indebted to you,’ Cassius nodded simply as to say “you’re welcome”.
‘The ceremony won’t take long. After I connect with him one last time we’ll burn the body and bury the remains,’ he said, standing up and turning to face Jaryn’s head. He laid a paw on his forehead, and closed his eyes as he concentrated. 
Everyone watched with bated breath to see what would happen, but there was only silence. Ryo opened one of his eyes, confused as to why nothing was happening. 
Then he felt a twitch. Ryo hissed as he jumped down from the slab, before Jaryn suddenly sprang up, groaning loudly as he tried to grab Ryo. Everyone gasped.
“That’s not supposed to happen!” An’thaehl cried out as he stood up. 
Ryo shook violently as he froze in place, staring up at Jaryn with wide eyes. Jaryn rolled off the slab, hitting the ground with a thud. He tried to grab Ryo, but An’thaehl swooped him up and backed away. 
Akae rose from his seat, scimitar in hand as he ran at Jaryn, and slicing his head clean off his neck. Jaryn squirmed slightly, as if trying to reconnect his head, but slowly stopped moving after his hand gripped his own face.
Tears streamed from Ryo’s eyes, pale as a ghost. He couldn’t speak or move.
Garbone was shaking as she watched what unfolded. Akae quietly approached Ryo, who instinctively dug his claws into An’thaehl. “I’m so sorry, Ryo.“
‘Why the fuck didn’t Kyazf warn this would happen?’
“He probably assumed we knew the risk. It’s evil regardless that Hyalbtz caused this. We’ll make it right once we deal with him,” An’thaehl promised, putting him down on the ground.
Ryo cautiously approached Jaryn, expecting him to come back again though he remained lifeless and still. He sat by him, too upset to be grossed out by the gory display.
Garbone then approached him, sitting down beside him. “Is there anything we can do for you?”
‘Just being here for me is enough. Thank you,’ he said, crawling into Garbone’s lap.
She gently scratched his head, causing him to purr. She felt the purring reverberate through her mind, making it difficult to keep her eyes open when she was already tired. But she willed herself to stay awake, for Ryo’s sake.
As the group remained huddled around the still form of Jaryn, the quiet stretched on, broken only by the soft rustle of the wind and Ryo's faint, uneven breaths. Garbone continued to stroke his head, her fingers gentle and no longer trembling. The others stood in uneasy silence, their gazes shifting between Jaryn’s mangled body and Ryo’s fragile form.
“We can’t stay here,” Akae said finally, his voice low but firm. “This isn’t over.”
“What do you mean?” An’thaehl asked, his wings twitching nervously.
Akae’s eyes narrowed as he gestured to Jaryn’s remains. “This... whatever just happened- it wasn’t natural. It wasn’t just death reanimated; something twisted and dark intervened. If Hyalbtz did this, then this is only the beginning. I’ve seen a lot of my men reanimate, and none of them acted like that.”
Morinthir stepped forward, her arms crossed and her brow furrowed. “Akae’s right. There’s no way Jaryn’s body would react like this without some external force. Rituals like the one Ryo performed shouldn’t bring anything back. Not like that.”
Ryo lifted his head slightly, his purple eyes dulled by exhaustion and sorrow. “I... I didn’t mean for this to happen. I just wanted to say goodbye,” he whispered, his voice cracking under the weight of his guilt.
“No one’s blaming you,” Garbone said softly, holding him closer. “You didn’t cause this.”
“Reconnecting after death has always been welcomed by Lord Uvie,” Morinthir said.
“But someone did cause this,” Akae said sharply. He pointed to Jaryn’s body. “And Hyalbtz wanted us to see it. To know what he’s capable of.”
An’thaehl frowned. “You think this was a warning?”
Akae nodded grimly. “No doubt about it. He probably knows we were messing with his pet.”
At those words, a chill swept through the group, as though the very air had grown heavier. Ryo shivered, curling deeper into Garbone’s embrace. ‘Then... we have to stop him,’ he murmured, though his voice lacked the fire it once held.
“Not now,” An’thaehl said quickly. “You need time to rest, and we need to regroup. We don’t even know where to start.”

Everyone quickly convened in the conference room, though Havre was unusually silent and slow as she was the last to enter. She resisted the urge to lean on Garbone, though sat next to her. Ryo decided to go to his room to rest for a while. The air was thick with dread, and everyone stared at each other in silence for a long few minutes.
“This is unlike anything I’ve ever seen,” Akae said, breaking the silence. “Zombies are supposed to be made by Lady Merthicz. They act like how they did in life, but Jaryn and Cathal were just. Mindless.”
“In my experience, that’s how zombies normally act. Bloodthirsty, beastly beings. Let’s just be glad Hyalbtz hasn’t raised an army of them dead,” Cassius said.
“Not yet, anyways. Who’s to say he won’t after he becomes a lich?” Garbone asked. “Maybe that’s why ivierae keep disappearing. so he can save them up and make an undead army.”
“I thought he was trying to free our kin?” Morinthir asked. “Why would he make zombies of us if he killed humans and high elves to save us?”
“I bet he’s waiting to bring back those he and his minions killed with the butterfly spell,” Akae said, deep in thought as he stared at the table. “It would explain why they were indiscriminately targeting them.”
“I wish Eilis were awake so he could help us. It’s driving me mad not knowing what’s going on in Darʌkys,” Cassius murmured. “Something tells me a number of humans have been killed there.”
“What makes you say that?”
“It’s what I would do if I were Hyalbtz. A concentrated population of my enemies with little means for an escape if the entrances were blocked? I’d go for it even if it meant people that weren’t my enemies got caught in the crossfire.”
Akae thought for a minute. Then he spoke quietly, “You don’t think he’s planning to kill the Highking, do you?”
“I don’t see why he wouldn’t. Hyalbtz clearly doesn’t care about my kin’s freedom, he just wants death. And Highking Gyala is half human. If he’s willing to attack a half human half orc majority village, then I imagine he’d have no problem going after the highest throne in the world.”
Akae’s leg bounced a mile a minute as he took in what Cassius said. “I can’t let that happen. I swore to protect him.”
“You can’t do anything about it, I’m afraid. If he’s planning to kill the Highking now would be the perfect opportunity, especially with Eilis being temporarily out of commission.”
“The butler, right?” Tassira asked. “I thought he served you, Lord Benoist?”
“He does. But he also serves all political leaders. It’s a long story. Anyways, it looks like we won’t get an answer for what’s going on in the capital until the ambassador finishes the antidote. There’s no point worrying about what might be happening.”
“It’s easy for you to say that when you haven’t sworn an oath to Lady Merthicz herself. As a paladin part of my sacred vow is to protect the current leader at all costs!” Akae shouted, his voice cracking.
Garbone stood up and walked over to him, unexpectedly hugging him. Akae paused and tensed up as she did so, throwing his arms up in confusion. Slowly, he reciprocated the hug. 
“It’ll be alright. Merthicz likes you, I’m sure she’ll understand that you can’t protect the Highking. Besides, the other paladins are there to protect him,” she said before letting go of him.
Akae sighed as he calmed his breathing. “You’re right, thank you,” he said, patting her head, prompting her to smile.
Cassius gave a shit-eating to Akae grin. “Is it that time of the month for ya? Can’t control your emotions?”
Akae cocked an eyebrow. “What? What does time have to do with emotions?”
“He’s implying you’re on a period,” Garbone murmured, looking away awkwardly as she scratched her head.
He blushed deeply, “What? What makes you think I have… that body part?”
“Oh relax, it’s an expression. You’re always so sensitive, Sir La’et.”
“I am not sensitive- if anyone is it’s Yiyral for letting himself be traumatised by Hyalbtz during a mission!” He hissed, crossing his arms.
Garbone’s face darkened the moment Akae’s words hit the air. The murmur of voices and rustling movements in the conference room halted, the tension thickening into something nearly suffocating. She stood slowly, her trembling hands curling into fists by her sides.
“Akae,” her voice was quiet, but it sliced through the silence like a blade. “What did you just say?”
Akae turned to her, his brows furrowed, but there was a defensive edge to his stance. “I said what everyone’s thinking. Yiyral has to toughen up. If he’s letting one bad experience mess with his head, then maybe he shouldn’t be a paladin.”
“That ‘bad experience’ was torture,” Garbone spat, her voice rising. “He didn’t ‘let’ it mess with him- it broke him. It would break anyone! You act like trauma is a choice.”
“I’m just saying,” Akae countered, his voice hard. “We don’t have time to coddle people in a war. If I got hung up on every horrible thing I’ve seen or experienced, I’d be dead- or worse.”
Her fists clenched tighter. “That’s because you don’t let yourself feel anything, Akae. You think ignoring your pain makes you strong, but it doesn’t. It’s just making you cruel.”
“Cruel?” He took a step toward her, his eyes blazing. “I’ve kept this group alive more times than I can count. I don’t have the luxury of breaking down like you do. Or Yiyral. If that makes me cruel, fine. At least I’m still standing.”
Garbone flinched as though he’d struck her. Her breathing grew ragged, and for a moment, the pain on her face was naked and raw. Then her expression hardened into something fierce and unyielding. “You don’t get to talk to me about breaking down,” she said, her voice trembling with barely restrained anger. “You have no idea what it’s like to wake up every day fighting your own mind. To wonder if you’re even worth saving.”
Akae opened his mouth to respond, but she cut him off, stepping closer. “And Yiyral? He was brave enough to face what happened to him, to admit he’s struggling. That’s real strength. You’re the coward here, Akae. Not him.”
The room fell into stunned silence, everyone frozen as the words hung in the air. Akae’s jaw tightened, and his hands curled into fists at his sides. For a moment, it seemed as though he might lash out. Instead, he looked away, his voice low and bitter.
“Maybe you’re right,” he said finally. “Maybe I am a coward. But at least I don’t expect anyone to hold my hand while I fall apart.”
Garbone’s shoulders sagged, her fury dimming into exhaustion. “No one’s asking you to fall apart, Akae,” she said softly. “We just want you to stop tearing down the people who do.”
Akae didn’t respond, his eyes fixed on the floor. The room remained heavy with unspoken tension, and no one dared to break the silence. Finally, Garbone turned away, her voice quieter now, but still firm.
“If you keep refusing to heal, Akae, you’re going to lose yourself. And when that happens, there won’t be anything left to fight for.”
She walked out of the room without another word, her head held high despite the tears glistening in her eyes. Akae remained standing, motionless, as the others exchanged uneasy glances.
“I think she’s right,” Morinthir said cautiously after a long moment. “You can’t fight a war if you’re fighting yourself, Akae.”
Akae didn’t respond, his shoulders stiff as he clenched and unclenched his fists. For once, he had nothing to say.

In the early afternoon, Akae sat in a chair in his guest room, fingers resting against his forehead and elbow propped on the plush arm rest as he thought. His brow furrowed, shadowing his eyes as his mind raced. The room was silent except for the creaking of the chair when he suggested. Garbone’s final words before leaving the room played through his mind over and over again.
“It’s bullshit,” he murmured, grabbing his cup of water with his free hand to take a sip. “I’m not traumatised, I don’t need healing. It’s not “broken” of me to be on edge all the time- it’s what’s expected of me as a paladin! So what if the only thing I can of is stressful events? So what if I can’t maintain meaningful relationships? I don’t need some random noble lady bothering me when I’m supposed to be on duty. Isolde is nothing but a distraction and danger to me and everything I’ve worked for. I don’t know why she keeps pushing herself on me, I’m obviously not interested in her,” he said a little more loudly, thoughts of Isolde threatening to out him no doubt plaguing his mind the way he teared up, and shakily wiped them away.
He turned his head to face the mirror propped against the wall and stared at himself. “I’m not broken for being raped! I’m not. Right?” Akae asked, gripping the arm rest of the chair so tightly it began to splinter. His heart beated rapidly and his eyes unfocused. He shut his eyes tightly, shaking his head.
“You’re better than this, Akae. You’re a grown man. It. It’s just sex. It’s something everyone does. Su-supposed to do?” He asked, unsure of the answer. He stared at the floor before burying his face in his hands.
“I am broken, aren’t I?” He asked, with only the silence answering him. He sighed, rightly rubbing his eyes before standing up and leaving the room.
He walked down the hallway and talk Garbone’s room, knocking before entering.
“Hey, uh, Garbone. Can I talk to you for a minute?”
Sitting on her bed, she turned to face Akae. She darted her eyes around for as minute as she thought, before nodding, her eyebrow furrowed and eyes red and puffy.
Akae bit his lip as he walked over to the large bed, and sat on it next to her. “I’m sorry for what I said about Sir Frescae. About trauma in general,” he said, eyes glaring at the floor. “I guess I’ve just been in denial about myself, and, it caused me to externalise it. It’s not right of me,” he met Garbone’s eyes, who looked almost shocked that he was actually apologising.
“It’s- I just- I don’t understand this trauma stuff, about feelings,” he gestured wildly in frustration. “When bad things happen I just shove them down like I was taught to as a child- by myself. It was how I got through my village being burned down at the start of the Vampire War, so I figured that’s just how people normally handle those issues. I’ve never heard of people openly talking about mental health, not until younger folk like you started. It’s uh, very foreign to me,” he looked at the floor again.
“But I realise my mistake. From now on I’m going to make an effort to understand you and everyone else,” he met her gaze again.
Tears streamed down Garbone’s face. “It means a lot to hear you say that, thank you. I used to really look up to you, you know,” she said, her turn to stare at the floor. “Even after my depression started I did, until you kept making comments trying to push me to just. Suppress what I was feeling. I tried understand where you were coming from, but it hurt. It never felt like you were trying to understand me and what I was going through.”
“I promise I was trying,” he said, hugging her tightly. She returned the hug. “I guess my ego just prevented me from seeing the bigger picture,” he said before letting go of her.
“Do you. Do you mind me asking what made you realise what was happening?”
“Some self reflection, something I’ve never really had the time for. Especially when it comes to my relationship with Isolde. I don’t want to worry you with the details, but she, eh. She uh…” he trailed off, afraid to finish the sentence.
“Did she assault you?” Her eyes widened with worry.
“More than assault- but- yes,” he said shakily, tensing up.
Garbone looked at the floor, gripping her bed sheets tight. “I know what you mean. I went through something similar.”
Akae looked at her in shock. “You’ve been raped? By who‽”
Garbone teared up. “By Jaird. Cassius paid him to try and make me not asexual.”
“What does asexual mean? And- he actually did that? He told me that you two were just dating until he found out Jaird was trying to take over the embassy! That predatory sack of shit!” He shouted, clenching his fists so tightly they turned white.
“It’s alright. It’s over now. He was banished back to Hell where Princess Oryninia executed him for it,” she said, sniffling as she wiped away her tears. “Anyways, asexual is someone who isn’t attracted to people of any sex. Why do you ask?”
“It’s not okay- has Cassius faced any repercussions for hiring him in the first place?”
“No, but- can we drop the subject please? I, I really don’t want to think about that right now.”
“Right. Sorry,” he said, trying to calm himself as he sighed harshly. “But uhm- I ask because I think I might be asexual too. I’ve never felt any sexual attraction towards others. I didn’t think there was a name for it,” he mentioned, moving his silver locs out of his face.
“Yeah, there’s lots of different names for sexual orientations, like gay or bisexual.”
“I think my transgender friend told me about gay.”
“You have a trans friend? So- does that mean you’re accepting of trans people?”
“Yeah, of course. Why wouldn’t I be?”
She shrugged. “Grandpops isn’t. I’m afraid to come out to him.”
“You’re trans? What’s your gender?”
“I’m a woman now. Might keep my name though. Please don’t tell grandpops, he’d kill me if he found out.”
“I promise not to say anything. And uh, while we’re talking about secrets, I’m actually an ivierae- not a dark elf. But don’t tell anyone, it’s the only reason I’m able to keep my position on the Highking’s court.”
“I had a feeling you might be, only because Cassius chose you as my godparent. But I promise to keep it secret. Does, eh, the Highking know you’re an ivierae?”
“Yes he does, and he supports me. He’s making sure it stays secret because of the uproar it would cause in the noble court.”
“Do you think you’ll ever tell them? I imagine you’d get a lot of support for it even if the nobles are upset.”
“Maybe some time after this situation blows over with Hyalbtz. I do feel a little more safe now that Hyal’s been arrested and stripped of his duties. When we first met he clocked me, and threatened to have me sold as a slave. He only stopped because my captain managed to convince him I’m a dark elf. Do you think you’ll ever come out to Lord Benoist?”
“I plan to someday. I just can’t while I’m still living with him. I hope to the gods that day is soon. I uh, I really want to move in with Havre.,” she murmured, darting her eyes away.
Akae smiled. “Havre is a very sweet girl, I think you two are a good match. Speaking of which, has she been alright? I noticed her acting more, lethargic, than usual,” he asked as his smile dropped.
“I think she blames herself for Jaryn dying, she’s been very depressed. I’m glad she’s not an ivierae, otherwise I think she’d fall into a depressive sleep.”
“Definitely keep an eye on her, I’m worried about her.”
“I will. Thank you, though, for talking to me. I was worried I’d never get to have this conversation with you. But now I’m starting to feel like I can trust you again.”
The two hugged one final time, holding it out as long as possible.
“Of course. In the future I’ll take your feelings more into consideration.”

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