4338.205.3 | Despair

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The large kitchen, once bathed in the ethereal luminescence of the Portal, succumbed to an eerie darkness as the glow ebbed away, plunging me into a sensory void. The abrupt shift sharpened my senses, drawing them towards the remnants of the evening's revelries. I inhaled deeply, my nostrils flaring as they picked up the unmistakable meld of burnt ash and red wine—a scent that wove visions of intimacy and camaraderie into the fabric of the night. Before me, on the cold, hard surface of the bench, stood two empty bottles of shiraz, their labels dulled by the absence of light. They were flanked by a pair of wine glasses, their crystal rims stained with the echo of shared laughter and whispered secrets.

A simmering anger began to coil within me, its heat searing through my veins, a visceral response to the betrayal unfolding before my eyes. With a hand that trembled with the force of my burgeoning wrath, I reached for the second bottle, turning it to catch the faint light filtering through the window. It was unmistakably mine—a bottle reserved for a moment of celebration, for a toast to difficult conversations and a Guardian life revealed. The realisation that Gladys had uncorked this symbol of personal triumph to share with another was a blow, a sharp stab of treachery that constricted my chest and made it hard to breathe.

The house, which had been a sanctuary of warmth and welcome, now felt like a mausoleum, its halls draped in shadows and its silence oppressive, suffocating. I moved through the living room, each step heavy with the weight of my disillusionment. The archway that led into this space, once an invitation to comfort and laughter, now loomed like the entrance to a tomb. As I paused, a soft moan, barely perceptible, drifted from the direction of Gladys's bedroom. The sound, laden with implications, clawed at my already frayed nerves. Doubts, like voracious beasts, gnawed at my mind. Was Gladys in the arms of another? Was this the reason behind her insistence that I remain hidden away, a secret kept from the world? Her earlier explanations, veiled as concern over her parents' disapproval, now unravelled, threadbare and insubstantial.

My heart pounded against my ribcage. She was meant to be my Guardian, my partner in navigating the complexities of a world that demanded vigilance and strength. To my daughter, I had pledged the gift of hope—a promise that now felt as burdensome as the world itself upon my shoulders.

The sounds of more moans, soft yet profoundly disturbing, sliced through the silence, each one a blow to my already fragile state. I closed my eyes tightly, as if the mere act could somehow barricade my heart against the pain. Despite the absence of physical intimacy between us, the mere thought of its possibility with another gnawed at my already battered heart. Memories, like spectres from a past I struggled to keep at bay, surged forth. Grace, my beacon of light, whose life was snuffed out far too early, leaving behind a void no amount of time could completely fill. My fingers clenched, the knuckles white against the wooden frame, while my other hand pressed hard against my mouth, a futile attempt to silence the sobs that clawed their way up from the depths of my soul.

"It's not true. You're just being irrational," I murmured to myself, a desperate attempt to stem the tide of despair. You're a good man, Cody. She just doesn’t understand you. If she did, she’d choose you, I reassured myself, clinging to this thought like a lifeline in the stormy sea of my emotions.

The voice within urged me on. You have to help her see. My gaze drifted down the hallway, fixating on the bedroom door that stood ajar, a sliver of space that felt as insurmountable as a chasm. "I have to show her," I whispered, the words barely leaving my lips.

With each quiet step towards the door, my resolve flickered like a candle in the wind. A sudden clap of thunder, distant yet ominous, mirrored the turmoil within me. Doubt, like a shadow, crept into my mind, whispering words of caution against the recklessness that threatened to take hold. This moment of hesitation, charged with the electricity of the gathering storm, was a crossroads. The path I chose next could either lead to reconciliation or further into the abyss of misunderstanding and pain.

Don’t be a fool.

But I have to help her.

She will hate you if you do.

I have to take her.

My heart was a drumbeat of chaos, pounding against the walls of my chest with a ferocity that mirrored the tumult within. A tempest of pain and anger whirled through my veins, a heady and dangerous concoction that threatened to overwhelm my senses. Yielding to this relentless tide, I found myself crossing the threshold into Gladys's sanctuary, a space now charged with a palpable tension where emotions ran rampant and the threads of fate seemed perilously entwined.

As I entered, the moans grew louder, a discordant symphony with the shifting shadows on Gladys's bed. A flash of lightning, brief yet blinding, tore through the darkness, illuminating the room in stark relief. My breath caught in my throat as the light laid bare the unexpected truth—Gladys was alone, her distress unshared.

The night air was split again by the sound of thunder, each clap more menacing than the last, as if the very heavens were bearing witness to the drama unfolding below. A stifled cry broke from Gladys's lips, her form a tangle of limbs and linen. Panic, swift and sharp, pierced my heart. Was she in the grip of a seizure? The possibility of her coming to harm under my watch spurred me into action.

I rushed to her side, my intentions pure, yet my efforts to disentangle her only served to tighten the snare. The room was intermittently lit by the fierce dance of lightning and thunder, each flash a momentary beacon in the storm of our turmoil.

“Cody!” Gladys’s voice pierced the darkness, laden with terror. “They’re coming!”

In my haste to reach her, the heavy blanket became an unexpected adversary. My balance faltered, and my hands, in their misguided attempt to save, instead pushed Gladys further into the fray, one inadvertently sealing her cries. Desperation clawed at me as I fumbled for the edge of the blanket, my mind racing with the fear of causing her harm.

The sudden, sharp pain of teeth biting into my hand broke through the frenzy. “Gladys!” I hissed, a mix of pain and urgency in my whisper. “Stop!”

Her movements ceased, and for a moment, time stood still. Her eyes, wide with fear, met mine, and in them, I saw a reflection of terror. A cold realisation washed over me, chilling me to the core. Was it me she feared? The intimacy of our entanglement, the confusion of the moment, had morphed into a tableau of misunderstanding and fear. The weight of her gaze bore into me, a silent accusation that left me grappling with a profound sense of dread.

"Don't scream," I urged, my voice a mixture of concern and desperation. “You were having a nightmare, thrashing about. I was worried you’d hurt yourself.” Yet, as I withdrew my hand from her mouth, a part of me bristled at the necessity of such a measure.

Gladys's response was immediate and forceful. "What the fuck are you doing here? How did you get in my house?" Her words, sharp as daggers, pushed me both physically and emotionally. The shove, though not unexpected, sent a jolt of panic through me. This wasn't how I had envisioned our encounter; her fear and confusion were palpable, mirroring my own internal turmoil.

I was cornered, caught in a maelstrom of emotions and circumstances far beyond my control. The urgency of the situation bore down on me, demanding immediate action, yet my options were limited. "I can’t stay long," I whispered back, urgency lacing my voice. The plea for trust was a gambit, my last card to play. "You have to trust Luke. Clivilius is real. Do whatever he asks you to do." My words hung in the air, a desperate attempt to bridge the chasm of misunderstanding between us.

Her hazel eyes bore into me, a mix of incredulity and defiance, barely illuminated in the dim light that fought to pierce the darkness. "Trust me, Gladys. The lives of a thousand people are at stake. We need Luke." The gravity of the situation weighed heavily on me, a burden I hoped to share, if only she would believe me.

Her skepticism was evident. "We? How do you know about Clivilius?" she pressed, her voice a blend of curiosity and suspicion. It was a question that deserved an answer, one that I couldn't afford to give. Time was a luxury I didn't have.

"I have to go," I stated, a mixture of regret and resolve propelling me to my feet. The temptation to linger, to explain, to justify my presence and actions was strong, but the risk was greater. I couldn't afford to delve into the complexities of our situation, not like this.

Without a backward glance, without waiting for her response or understanding, I sprinted out of the room. The question of her companion's identity lingered in my mind, a thorn of curiosity and jealousy, but I pushed it aside. If I couldn't be the one at her side, then at least I could steer her towards someone who might protect her, someone who might make a difference.

In a final act, a message of sorts, I grabbed the empty wine bottle from the bench, its presence a bitter reminder of the evening's revelations. With a swift motion, I illuminated the fridge door with the colours of Clivilius, a silent beacon of my visit and a cryptic sign of the truths I couldn't voice. Then, in an instant, as if swallowed by the very shadows that filled the room, I was gone, leaving behind a whirlwind of confusion, fear, and the faintest glimmer of hope that my message would find its mark.


Collapsed upon the cave floor, the soft snow beneath me offered no comfort against the biting chill that seeped into my bones. The wind's mournful howl navigated the craggy expanse of the Portal Cave's entrance, a frigid breeze that seemed to carry the weight of my despair. My body convulsed with shivers, each tremor a testament to the cold and the tumultuous storm of emotions raging within. Tears, indistinguishable from the melting snowflakes on my cheeks, were my silent companions as I clutched the empty shiraz bottle—a symbol of lost promises and shattered dreams—in my quaking hands.

The intensity of my emotions crescendoed into a surge of rage and despair, a force so overwhelming it eclipsed even the agony of losing my beloved Grace. Driven by this tumult, I found the strength to rise to my knees, my spirit fuelled by a blend of anguish and defiance. With a cry that seemed to tear from the very depths of my soul, I unleashed my fury upon the inanimate object that I held. The bottle, once a vessel of shared moments and cherished memories, was propelled from my grasp and met the rocky cave wall with a thunderous crack. It shattered upon impact, its fragments scattering like the myriad pieces of my broken heart, each shard a reflection of my inner turmoil.

The sound of the shattering bottle reverberated through the cavern, a symphony of my frustration and sorrow. The echoes served as a haunting reminder of what had transpired, of what we had become. In the wake of the silence that followed, a profound realisation settled over me, as palpable as the cold that enveloped my form. The finality of the act, the symbolic breaking of the bottle against the unyielding rock, mirrored the irrevocable breaking of us.

In that solemn, solitary moment, the truth crystallised within me, resonating with the icy air of Clivilius and the desolation of my surroundings. We were over. This conviction permeated my being, settling into my bones with a chill that surpassed the physical cold. It was a realisation that marked the end of an era, the closing of a chapter that I had hoped would tell a different story. The emptiness of the cave around me mirrored the emptiness I felt, a void where once there was hope, now filled only with the echoes of my despair.

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